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Ann Coulter Is An Idiot

So we have Keith Olbermann '79, a rising star among the liberal chattering class. He was one of the first vocal critics of the ineptitude of the Bush administration, and oh, he likes to reference his alma mater a little bit less than a certain fictitious character on an NBC sitcom.

And then we have Ann Coulter '84, who could only be described as a tired and aging conservative has-been, desperately willing to write about anything to give herself a little bit of attention. And so she decides to make ridiculous and unfounded comments about the Ag school in the mother of all ad hominem attacks on Olbermann.

The bottom line, though, is that Olbermann's liberal grandstanding and slightly over-the-top references to his alma mater shouldn't serve as the basis of an attack of the Ag School. And if I was the Cornell Review, I would disown her on the principle of denigrating an absolutely stellar institution.

(But also on stupidity and raging lunacy, while we're at it.)

I would venture to say that the students at Goodling's law school at Regent University are far more impressive than those at the Cornell agriculture school -- the land-grant, non-Ivy League school Keith attended.

I wouldn't mention it, except that Olbermann savages anyone who didn't go to an impressive college. As it happens, he didn't go to an impressive college, either.

If you've ever watched any three nights of his show, you know that Olbermann went to Cornell. But he always forgets to mention that he went to the school that offers classes in milking and bovine management.

Indeed, Keith is constantly lying about his nonexistent "Ivy League" education, boasting to Playboy magazine, for example: "My Ivy League education taught me how to cut corners, skim books and take an idea and write 15 pages on it, and also how to work all day at the Cornell radio station and never actually go to class."

Except Keith didn't go to the Ivy League Cornell; he went to the Old MacDonald Cornell.

The real Cornell, the School of Arts and Sciences (average SAT: 1,325; acceptance rate: 1 in 6 applicants), is the only Ivy League school at Cornell and the only one that grants a Bachelor of Arts degree.

Keith went to an affiliated state college at Cornell, the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences (average SAT: about that of pulling guards at the University of South Carolina; acceptance rate: 1 of every 1.01 applicants).

Coluter's idiocy doesn't even deserve a response, but this state school alumnus will correct a couple of Coulter's Ivy-league errors for her, just for good measure. Last time I checked, all of Cornell's colleges preached the importance of fact-checking.

First, all of Cornell is considered a land-grant institution. Ezra Cornell was given land in Wisconsin as part of the Morrill Act. The proceeds of this land are now part of Cornell's private endowment.

Secondly, all seven undergraduate colleges of Cornell are a member of the Ivy League in that students can compete in the oft-hyped sports conference of the same name. All eight schools subject themselves to the same rules and regulations when it comes to admissions and academic qualifications, but the similarities end there. Cornell and Harvard are two very different institutions, just like Brown and Penn.

And since Coulter wasn't on a varsity athletics team at Cornell, I can't see why she is hyping her own connection to said athletics conference.

Finally, Coulter needs to have some of her numbers re-examined.

For instance, the Ag school has an average SAT score of 1360 and has an acceptance rate of 1 in 5 students. (Not that acceptance rates matter.) And Coulter even dumbs down her own college by close to 100 SAT points -- Arts and Sciences has an average SAT score of 1415, not 1325.

There are a lot more errors and lapses into idiocy in Coulter's article, but a stronger person than your truly will need the patience to comment. Perhaps Olbermann himself will even have the wherewithal to fashion a rejoinder in defense of our alma mater.

Matthew Nagowski | Posted on March 04, 2009 (#)

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