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A Good Ivy Joke

The eight institutions of the Ivy League found themselves all marooned on a desert island... in personified form, strangely enough. And so they went about their business.

Harvard appointed himself the president for life and set out to get everyone else to bow to him. Columbia started a newspaper for the residents of the island. Yale set up a stage and put on a show every night. Dartmouth distilled the juice from the island fruits and set up a bar. Princeton set up an exclusive eating club and invited the others to apply for membership, even though they had no idea how to cook food. Ever shrewd, Penn tried to get the others to trade between themselves and skim off a commission for himself. And humble Cornell went about its own business, planting a garden to grow food and building a water-tight boat to get off the island as soon as possible.

Cornell's garden yielded bountiful food and soon the Big Red Boat was ready to set sail with ample provisions. As they all climbed onto the boat, Dartmouth looked around the island one last time and belched, saying, "Funny how we haven't missed Brown at all."

Matthew Nagowski | Posted on October 13, 2008 (#)

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