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The New Ivy League

With college admissions season right around the corner, nervous parents and bratty, adderall snorting high school students bent on rising into America’s power elite should not be setting their sites on the Ivy League.

Why? Cutting-edge research now indicates that the classrooms producing the educators of America’s aristocracy are in such far away locales as Dillard University in Lousiana or Queens College… Canada. At some point, America’s ruling class got smart, and decided to educate their educators at Podunk U. No doubt because it was cheaper. (The rich will stop at no end to save a penny.)


Yep. That’s the percentage of current Ivy League university presidents that had their undergraduate degree signed by the president of an Ivy League institution.

So why go to Columbia when the guy that oversees Columbia went to the University of Oregon? And Dartmouth students: We understand that Wisconsin has really good beer and cheese. Just ask your president. He went to some no-name school out there that nobody has ever heard of.

Click below for the data that went into this groundbreaking research. (And please note that any attempt for this post to be a knock-off of IvyGate was intended.)

SchoolPresidentUndergraduate Institution
Brown Ruth Simmons Dillard University
Columbia Lee Bollinger University of Oregon
Cornell David Skorton Northwestern University (Transferred from UCLA)
Dartmouth James Wright University of Wisconsin - Platteville
Harvard Derek Bok Stanford University
Pennsylvania Amy Gutmann Radcliffe College*
Princeton Shirley Tilghman Queen's University
Yale Rick Levin Stanford University

* Yes, Radcliffe is associated with Harvard University, but it doesn't count unless the president of the university actually places his signature on the degree. It's not my fault that Harvard was a sexest institution.

Matthew Nagowski | Posted on September 11, 2006 (#)

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